Monday, December 12, 2011

Why I’m Not Doing Christmas This Year

No, it’s not because I’m Jewish, or Muslim, or Buddhist, or Confucian. I’m a French-Irish ex-Catholic. And, no, it’s not because of any need to “put Christ back into Christ-mas.” (There’s no doubt in my mind that if Jesus had any say in the matter, he’d opt out of Christmas himself, out of sheer embarrassment.)

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I’m not doing Christmas this year because, at 68, it finally occurred to me that Christmas fits the definition of insanity to a T: That is, doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.

Think about it. Isn’t this what most of us have been doing all these years – entering into the Christmas madness every year (beginning in August) and expecting that, this time, it was going to be different? This year, by golly, we were gong to be visited by those three crotchety (little pun there) old ghosts, and then, on Christmas morning, be transformed like ol’ Ebenezer himself sitting on his book of accounts.

Over and over.

Let’s face it. Christmas is a disaster. No, it’s full-blown horror. It reminds us how unhappy we really are. It reminds how superficial our relationships really are. It reminds how poor we really are. It reminds us how much we hate being manipulated. It reminds us how much we dislike feeling guilty. It reminds us how much we hate confronting those bloody red kettles outside Wal-Mart. 

Over and over.

OK, the good news. I think I’ve got a way I can be lured back, and maybe bring you with me. Here it is: We hold a national Secret Santa Lottery. We put all 312,731,079 names in a very large hat, and then we enlist a cadre of humble Hollywood celebrities to draw names on everyone’s behalf. The name drawn on your behalf is the only person you have to gift. What’s more, you don’t have to buy anything. In fact, you can’t. It’s against the law. What you have to do is you have to make something. Yes, that’s right. You have to make something. With your own hands. Your own heart. Your own soul. And then you have to send it to the giftee (by UPS, because the post Office is going to be out of business). That’s it. That’s the new (old) Christmas.

Are you in?

3 comments:

  1. I actually love Christmas, but pretty much stay out of stores and traffic jams from Thanksgiving on. My family always draws for presents, and I picked the 3-month-old son of my nephew, a brand-spanking-clean new human being.
    You have inspired me now to MAKE a present for him instead of buying one. Probably something made of wood, perhaps a sled. It will be time very well spent and I can't wait to get into the sawdust.

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  2. I totally understand what he is saying, but I also believe that this season is an opportunity for us all. To take a moment and remember the true spirit of Christmas... our brothers and sisters all over the world. Start locally and it will ripple globally. A small kindness, a smile, holding the door, allowing someone else to go first, a moment hearing what someone has to say, a moment holding someone else right where they are in life... Just like the Grinch realized that "It's not about the presents, the glitter, the this or the that... it all actually comes from your heart." This season, act from your heart, honor friends with a gift of time and laughter, that stays with one much longer! What are your thoughts? - Amy Wood

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  3. Christmas as a kid was great opening a load of presents that had been delivered by a fake person called santa. Not anymore, cant really stand it. The financial burden of buying gifts I cant afford or having to make an effort to spend time with people that I will ordinarily see anyway given any other given day. Whats so special about Christmas anyway when you are an adult. Its a strange false time of year. It really is just another day the same as any other, much better to take the Christmas period to realx doing what ever it is that you want rather than let family hassle you into diong things you dont want.

    Got a roasting from the family for not doing Christmas this year. Not happy with the guilty trip and manipulation people have tried to put me through just for silly fake santa clause. I dont want to do Christmas again.

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